My name is Allegra! I’m 14 and I live in beautiful Tasmania. I am homeschooled, one of three kids, and an artist. I want my life to glorify Jesus only. I want His way, plan and will for my life to be accomplished.
I’ve always wanted to get married! But I had no idea how to treat the whole subject and wasn’t aware of what I would have to lay down. It wasn’t until I got my head stuck in Joshua Harris’ book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, that I realised the way I was thinking wasn’t right!
At first I was reluctant to read the book. If I did, I’d only read the bits about starting a relationship, or the love stories. I was completely missing the point of the book! I had just found out that the person I liked actually liked me back, so the last thing I wanted to do was read a book about kissing dating goodbye!
Our interest towards each other only lasted for a while. We didn’t date, as we knew we were still too young.
I did pray about it, but even the way I prayed was corrupt. I’d pray that I would marry such and such, if it was God’s will. And if it wasn’t His will, then no. But to back up my will, I would say to God: ‘But please I hope it’s Your will!’ I wasn’t trusting God and instead praying for my own selfish desires. I was afraid God would choose someone else who wasn’t as good. Believe it or not, it even took me a while to pray like this and before that my prayers were even worse!
I was very uncomfortable with the way I was praying. I got to a point where I also felt uncomfortable with my feelings towards this boy, so I was unable to show affection. It became pretty clear that was his case too. So we decided to only be friends.
It wasn’t a piece of cake to get over my emotions. Sometimes my interest for him came back. So I’d take my feelings to God and say: ‘Daddy God, if these feelings aren’t from You, take them away!’ They didn’t go overnight, it was a process. Whenever feelings came back I’d say this over again and eventually they went!
commitment can’t be true commitment without God’s perfect timing
After a while I read I Kissed Dating Goodbye properly. To my surprise, this book wasn’t about quitting your love life. It’s about the meaning of dating and it explains how so many people fall in love and say: ‘Let’s give dating a go and if it doesn’t work we’ll just break up.’ This can be quite repetitive—it’s referred to as the ‘Dating Game’. Many people walk away after this experience with shame, regret, depression, anxiety, even suicidal thoughts. In order to avoid this sad, hopeless journey, Joshua Harris explains that being committed to getting married (while dating) CAN solve the dating game problem.
A lot of people might ask: ‘How do I know who God wants me to be committed to? It’s simple (but that doesn’t mean it’s easy!) Ask God to guide you, spend time with Him, learn to hear His voice, be willing to give Him your feelings, and allow Him to have His will done in your life! It’s not easy to surrender your feelings to God. But trust in Him that His ways and thoughts are higher than humanity’s (Isaiah 55:9) and that He loves you (John 3:16) and wants the best for you! (Jeremiah 29:11)
Commitment can’t be true commitment without God’s perfect timing. It’s why waiting for the right time is so important. Right now I’m 14. I know I’m not ready for commitment. I’m not going to give my heart to a man if I’m not ready for commitment.
I still struggle with temptations and feelings. But because I’ve got God to help me, I don’t allow them to get past my thoughts. In doing so I say: ‘Thank You, God, that You have someone in store for me. Wherever he is, I thank You that in Your perfect timing You’ll bring us together. Amen.’
You don’t have to say the same thing, but just stand strong in God and speak the truth!
I’m choosing to remain single, till God’s perfect timing for me works out. I’m thankful for this season, as I can study, spend time with God and do other things I might not get the time to do as often as when I`m married. My priority is to treat the opposite gender as brothers in Christ, or just friends for now!
I hope this can be an encouragement to anyone no matter their situation.
This is how I choose to… LIVE DIFFERENT!