TH1RTEEN R3ASONS WHY…

The Netflix show 13 Reasons Why has created quite a stir recently. It opens up important issues, both negative and positive, for us all. ‘Everything really does affect everything.’

13 Reasons Why explores the aftermath of a teenage girl’s suicide. She records 13 audiotapes, each about a person and their contribution to her suicide. It is compelling drama with many heart-wrenching scenes. Although we would definitely recommend caution in viewing it, it shows how people’s actions can really impact the lives around them. There are lessons for us about the pain of trauma and the murky depths.

“You don’t know what goes on in anyone’s life but your own. And when you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re not messing with just that part. Unfortunately, you can’t be that precise and selective. When you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re messing with their entire life. Everything. . . affects everything.”

Jay Asher, Thirteen Reasons Why

These are our 13 Reasons Why NOT:

1. YOU ARE LOVED.

Maybe you don’t feel loved. Or you feel like everyone would be better off without you. There are always people who love you, often imperfectly. But let us assure you, that you are loved.
Ephesians 2:10NLT | We are God’s masterpiece

2. YOU HAVE INCREDIBLE VALUE

You are a one-of-a-kind masterpiece. When you to compare yourself with others, you always come short. Comparing yourself is toxic. ‘The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.’ (Steve Furtick) Take a break from social media.
Romans 11:29NLT | God’s gift & His call can never be withdrawn

3. BULLIES FADE AWAY

Being bullied is so soul destroying. It can seem like there is no escape, and it will never end. But it does. Bullies fade away. Years from now, you will likely find it hard to remember who the bullies were, the grades you got, the names of those who treated you poorly. Seek help now and talk to someone, but recognise that a new day is just over the horizon.
Acts 9:3NLT | A light from Heaven shone down…

4. THERE IS LIFE BEYOND SCHOOL

When you’re at school it seems like it’s the whole world. If life there isn’t going well, it seems like all of life isn’t going well. Well, fact: there is a whole world out there so much richer than your life at school. And if life at school (or uni or your job) is so bad that you want to end your own life, don’t do it—ditch school (or uni or your job) instead. Get out and start fresh.
Mark 1:17–18NLT | Jesus called out…‘Come, follow Me…’ And they left… at once and followed Him.

5. THERE IS LOVE BEYOND SCHOOL

The angst in 13 Reasons Why is often about romantic relationships and this is true for schools everywhere. But for every pair of high school sweethearts who get married, there are hundreds of couples who meet after school. Chances are you will find a more fulfilling love later. And God has already designed that story.
Psalm 139:16NIV | …all the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.

6. THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE TO TALK TO

In 13 Reasons Why  Hannah felt like she has no-one left to talk to. She thought all her friends had abandoned her. She didn’t feel heard, and she felt like there was no one left to talk to. But there is always someone. Even if you feel like you have no friends or family to talk through stuff with there are heaps of counselling & mental health options available. And if you don’t feel heard, or just don’t feel you click with one mentor, then go to another. Keep going until you find the right person who can help you navigate the challenges you face in your life. There is help. There is hope. Reach out.
2 Corinthians 1:4GWT | He comforts us whenever we suffer.

If you need help talk to your parents, youth leader, trusted friend or call;
24/7 Lifeline: 13 11 14
Vision Prayer: 1800 772 936

 

7. THE HURT DOES NOT END

Suicide is an unnatural ending to what could have been a longer, more beautiful story. There can be no possibility of redemption, no victory after adversity, no hope of a new day. Suicide isn’t revenge or retaliation. It just cuts short the story. It is irreversible.

It may seem like suicide is the only way to stop all the hurt, but all those people who actually do love you, will carry the hurt on and multiply it for the rest of their lives.

Job 30:7NIV | My gnawing pains never rest.

8. MISTAKES DO NOT DEFINE YOU

We all make mistakes. You do. Others do. And mistakes can really hurt. But your mistakes don’t define you. You may feel crushed under the weight of mistakes. Either your mistakes or the mistakes of others. But you are far more than these mistakes. And there is always hope for true redemption. And that starts with Jesus.
1 Corinthians 13:12NLT | Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.

9. THE WORLD IS BETTER WITH YOU IN IT.

You are meant to be here. You are not an accident. God designed and shaped you. You are a beloved part of His creation, not something to be cast away. So your life matters. Your value is not based on someone else’s inability to see your worth.
Psalms 139:14NIV | Fearfully and wonderfully made

10. LONELY IS NOT A LIFE SENTENCE

We all get lonely. God is relational, even when our prayers seem like they are stopping at the ceiling. He is always with us. He never leaves us or forsakes us, and He brings us out of loneliness by surrounding us with His people. Take this opportunity to find a youth group.
1 Peter 3:12NLT | The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right, and His ears are open to
their prayers.

11. YOU CAN RISE ABOVE YOUR REPUTATION

When your reputation is damaged it is very hard to overcome it. And it hurts even more when that reputation is not deserved. Many people have risen above their bad reputations and turned them around—because of Jesus. Jesus who gives people endless second chances.
Isaiah 26:3NIV | You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you…

12. THERE IS FREEDOM FROM SHAME

We all have stories of shame. Shame can be so destructive in our lives, and it feels like there is no escape. Even shame as deep as that of rape and abuse. But there is freedom from shame through the love of Jesus. Jesus sees you as you are, yet still loves you. And He died to take away your pain, and write a new story in your life.
1 Peter 2:24NLT | By His wounds you are healed…

13. YOU ARE LOVED

Even if you feel all the people around you show you no love, God will always love you. He has done the dying so you don’t have to. And He wants you to come home to a loving relationship with Him, to a relationship with His people.

God’s people are imperfect, and will stuff it up and let you down at some stage, but they will do their best to love you. All because they were loved first by a God who is love.

John 3:16ESV | For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.

Each of these reason why not to commit suicide show us there is hope. There is love. A love we can find imperfectly in those around us. But also a love we can find perfectly in Jesus. There is a loving God who made you, loves you, and died to bring you home to Him. That really affects everything like nothing else.

About the author

Creek Road Presbyterian Church

Chris started full time ministry SU Qld before becoming the youth pastor at Creek Road. He now oversees all their ministries to young people across all our campuses. Chris doesn’t like cricket – he loves it. And the Sydney Swans. But not as much as he loves his wife and two daughters.

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